Life throws unexpected hardships at everyone. For Hong Kong actress Liu Xuehua, blood ties are never the only measure of affection.
On July 19, 2011, a muffled thud was heard in a residential complex in Shanghai; renowned screenwriter Deng Yukun fell from a high-rise building where he lived and died on the spot.
At the time, Liu Xuehua, who was far away in Taiwan, had just received word that her father was critically ill and was in the process of arranging to travel to Taiwan to visit him when the devastating news of her husband’s unexpected death arrived.
Losing two of her closest loved ones in the span of a single day, the then-48-year-old Liu Xuehua was struck by a blow she could not have anticipated, leaving her nearly in a daze.As the longtime leading lady in Qiong Yao’s TV dramas, she had portrayed numerous female characters on screen who were deeply entangled in emotional turmoil; yet the twists and turns of her own real life proved far more turbulent than any plot she had ever portrayed.
As early as the age of 23, Liu Xuehua began a relationship with actor Liu Dekai. She devoted herself wholeheartedly to him during their six years together, but by the time she learned he had long since found another partner, she was already pregnant. The abortion procedure caused severe bleeding, and her attending physician made it clear to her that she would have virtually no chance of conceiving naturally in the future.During that time, she shut herself away and sank into depression for nearly half a year, at one point convinced that her chance at a stable, loving relationship had come to an end.
Later, she met screenwriter Deng Yukun, who was thirteen years her senior and had two minor children at the time. Upon marrying into his family, Liu Xuehua immediately assumed the role of stepmother.Over the course of their twelve years together, she consistently took meticulous care of her stepchildren’s daily needs—preparing meals, sewing clothes, driving them to and from school, and participating in parent-teacher meetings. She personally handled every detail of their lives and never once had an argument with either child.Her years of sincere devotion eventually led the children to spontaneously begin calling her “Mom.”
Just as life was finally beginning to settle into a stable rhythm, she was struck by the successive tragedies of her husband’s passing and her father’s death—both of which occurred on the very same day. At first, friends and family around her were secretly worried, fearing that without anyone to lean on, she would struggle to get through the days ahead.
Surprisingly, after taking half a year to regroup on her own, she managed to pull herself together and return to work on the set. At the time, some people privately criticized her for being cold-hearted, but only she knew the truth: life must go on, and one cannot remain stuck in the pain of the past.
These days, Liu Xuehua chooses her scripts purely based on personal preference; she turns down roles she isn’t interested in outright. In her free time, she tends to her flowers and plants at home and meets up with old friends for tea. Holidays are especially lively,her stepson and stepdaughter bring their own families to her home for reunions. Her stepdaughter has a habit of covering the refrigerator door with handwritten notes, while her stepson often drops by to help repair appliances and take care of household chores. The family gets along harmoniously and warmly, with a bond that surpasses that of many blood-related relatives.
In life, we all inevitably face hurdles that are hard to overcome. When it comes to maintaining family bonds, blood ties are by no means the only measure.
If you’ve also endured difficult times and received warmth from people who aren’t related to you by blood, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.
