Ma Nuo was labeled a gold digger after a scripted remark on "If You Are the One," closing acting doors and flooding her livestreams with abuse. At 35 she married hastily, suffering seven beatings in six months—the worst ruptured her eardrum. A kick to the abdomen killed her unborn child. She sold her premarital apartment, transferring over 1.6 million yuan to cover her husband's gambling debts, only to be accused of fleeing with his assets. Divorced in 2024 with nothing, she now rents a tiny room in Beijing, taking odd jobs and telling everyone: if a man hits you, leave immediately.
Few people remember that back when Mano stood on the stage of *If You Are the One*, she was only in her early twenties. Simply because of an offhand remark scripted by the show’s producers—“I’d rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle”—she was labeled a materialistic woman, a stigma she has carried for thirteen years.
During those years, she wanted to break into the entertainment industry, but whenever industry insiders heard her name, the door to collaboration would slam shut; she tried live-streaming to sell products, but the comment section was filled with the same old remarks from over a decade ago, and the insults were so harsh she couldn’t hold her head up.During those years, she tried all sorts of avenues—reaching out to former colleagues from TV shows and asking friends she knew to put in a good word—but no matter how hard she tried, others could only see the old label stuck to her. She gave it her all, but couldn’t even make the slightest dent.
After finally making it to thirty-five, I figured that if I was going to start a family, I should at least have a place to call home, so I hurriedly got married.
Who would have thought this wasn’t the shore, but a deeper quagmire?
Just six months into her marriage, she had been beaten seven times. The worst incident occurred when her husband punched her in the ear, rupturing her eardrum and leaving her with a ringing in her ears for an entire month.She was still in the early stages of her pregnancy, and before a fetal heartbeat had even developed, he kicked her in the lower abdomen—and the baby was lost on the spot. She sold the apartment she’d bought before marriage and transferred over 1.6 million to her husband to pay off his gambling debts. Immediately afterward, he shouted to relatives and friends that she’d run off after sweeping away his family’s entire fortune.On the day she received her divorce certificate in June 2024, she stood outside the Civil Affairs Bureau with nothing but an empty wallet in her hand. She had lost her home, her savings—even her last shred of hope for the future had been shattered into nothing but dust.
These days, she rents a small, ten-or-so-ping apartment in an older Beijing neighborhood and makes ends meet by taking on odd photography gigs.Every day, without fail, she practices yoga for an hour and reads half a page of an old book before bed. On social media, she posts photos of the noodles she occasionally overcooks and the roses in full bloom downstairs. Whenever she meets someone, she repeatedly urges them: if you ever encounter a man who lays a hand on you, don’t hesitate—walk away immediately.
No one mentions that label from over a decade ago anymore, and she herself has long since let go of her former attachment to material things. She has finally come to understand that in this life, relying on anyone else is no substitute for standing on one’s own two feet.
I’ve seen many people who were so weighed down by the labels others had pinned on them that they couldn’t hold their heads up—ordinary people who’d been battered and bruised by life but refused to be broken. Most of them clung tightly to whatever tangible support they could find and persevered, one step at a time.If you, too, have faced hardship, been gossiped about behind your back, or nearly given up along the way—and if you ever find yourself thinking you need to rely on others or just get by—remember Mano’s story. The sense of security you hold in your own hands is the only true security.
